Dick is Sex Obsessed
Yes, indeed, truth is stranger than fiction, that's why we have to call truth fiction.
“Hey, Walter, my friend is taking a shower. Thought I'd give you a call before we have to jump to the gala; she's in the fashion show. What are you doing?
“I've been working on my novel.”
“What is it about?”
“The title is ‘The Dumb American’. You’re the main character.”
“I am a Canadian.”
“Canadian American. Please don’t deny your American half. You are making a fortune off it. You’re my protagonist, anyway.”
“You have to be kidding.”
“Like they say, truth is stranger than fiction, and the best fiction is true. So, what are you up to?”
“I had some business in London and Paris after my meetings in Singapore. I am in the South of France now, relaxing with my friend, an amazing model. You might recognize her. See the image.”
“I’m looking at it. How might I see her? The image is only from her chest to her thighs. There's no head. ”
“Look again. Her breasts are unusual, recognizable everywhere. I love to suck on them before I give her head.”
“Yeah that's your main thing I guess. I think you're obsessed, Dick, really, you should see a psychiatrist, maybe he could get you beyond the oral thing.”
“I see her twice a year. She is delicious. She went down on me and said that I'm a healthy man, that I have no repressions.”
“Good grief, Dick, that's unethical, not to say disgusting.”
“Not in France. People have a different attitude here. In fact, women are not hung up on sex. They are horny and love casual sex. I got it on with three women yesterday. I met them at the pool, and one asked, ‘Tu veux baiser?’”
“What?”
“Do you want to fuck.”
“No way. I don’t believe you. You've got to get your head out from between your legs, Dick.”
“Not my legs, theirs. Hey, thanks for picking up. Gotta get dressed! Fuck Trump!”
“Go ahead if you like. I'm straight so I'll pass on that.”
“Hee, hee!”
“Dick. I have to say you have a one track mind, always in the crack. Women love to treat you like a dog. You are definitely a pussy whipped liberal.”
“Well, business is booming for me, and a man has to have a release.”
“So have a martini with your steak.”
“I do not drink. I do not eat meat. You know what I like to eat.”
“Well, enjoy. Thanks for calling.”
“Thanks for picking up. I know it annoys you but I just have to say something about your American friend.”
“What?”
“Fuck Trump!”
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